Ack! 15 Weeks!!!!

So there's 15 weeks to go until Power Weekend. I'm not sure if that sounds ominous enough, so let me say it again:

15 weeks........

We got a little taste of Power Weekend this morning, and as we looked around at each other, I think we realized we're all in the same boat. I think, deep down, or maybe not so deep actually, we all were panicking inside that we would be found unworthy, unable to acheive the black belt we've all been working so hard on. I know I felt it, as I tried again and again and again to lift my feet six inches off the ground as well as my hands and was only successful maybe 30% of the time.

So what do we do now? We need to keep on working, keep on training, keep on conditioning. But above all that, we need to trust. To trust in ourselves, and the knowledge we have packed away in our brains regarding stances, forms, techniques, etc. To trust that our bodies will do as we tell them to. To trust the instructors and the instructions they give us. To trust that they've seen all this before and know how to get each and every one of us to excel in the ways we are capable of.

I'm sure for some, it's hard to be that trusting. I decided long ago that the best way for me to do this, to get through this journey was to do whatever I was told to do as best as I was able. To surrender my self-doubt to them, and trust that they would see what I could do. That kind of trust was fairly easy for me in this situation.

It's the other trust that I'm worrying I might have trouble with. The trust given to the instructors on power weekend. The one that means them knowing better than you do what your body/spirit is capable of. Not for myself, mind you. I've already given them my trust for that. It's the trust I need to have in them if my husband is throwing up or my daughter is in the corner crying. The trust I'll need to let other people take care of them in that moment. Maybe I'm worrying for nothing -- we'll see.